That last post was so boring I don't even want to re-read it.  For any of you who made it through:

I was watching Dora the Explorer with the kids this morning, and they were going through the land of fairytales, where "everyone is welcome!"  And I thought: well of course everyone is welcome...they're all being captured in candy houses or put to sleep in towers.  And then I thought: why are good marriages called fairytale marriages, if fairytales are always wrought with strife?  The endings of fairytales are usually happy...but not all.  "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" (arguably not a fairytale) ended with Esmerelda and Q. dead in a pit in the streets (that didn't make the Disney cut, and I have never seen the Disney version because I'm still upset), "The Little Mermaid" ended with the prince marrying a woman from a neighboring town, and Ariel's soul was sent to travel on the wind for eternity.  Real fairytales are really scary...so people's perceptions that Disney has created/fabricated is unfortunate.

Now...this is coming from a literature snob, okay?  I realize that it doesn't really make that big a difference in the big picture.  I mean, "The Sword in the Stone" is an adaption of "The Last and Future King," which is an AMAZING book, and I was very pleased to realize that Disney has a few great moments.  I did just make a wishlist on Amazon to replace many Disney VHS tapes that have been eaten or recorded over (Alice in Wonderland is now 4 hours of news).  

This was really just a fleeting thought as I was putting grippy tape on the backs of kitchen rugs.

BTW, Linens and Things is going out of business.  I have gotten many many good things (kitchen rugs, sheets, culinary torch ftw), plus Christmas gifts, very very cheap.  Just throwin that out there for the ladies...or for the guys, if you want to score some gold stars wit' yo woman.  ("honey, what do you think about going linen shopping after dinner?  Maybe we could get a raspberry frappucino afterwards?"  I mean, that's gold). 

Hokay, back to house stuff.  I really need to get the covers back on the couch.  For serious.

I'm just going to comment on some things in the news...and you might be offended.  Just a caveat.

Sherri Shepherd is an Emmy award winning comedian and a co-host on ABC morning talk show The View. The television celebrity recently sat down for an interview with the black Christian women’s magazine Precious Times.

Shepherd shared the fact that before she converted to Christianity, she led a promiscuous lifestyle.

“I was in a very abusive relations. I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions that I would like to count. I have very low self esteem and just wanted to die.”

The comedian is apparently very worried about the state of Barbara Walters soul. She may have made a major blunder in sharing the following sentiment about her sometimes prickly boss:

“Oh, sometimes I say, ‘Lord, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Myers would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved. I ask the Lord ‘Why am I here?’ I have to trust God when he says ‘Because I said so.’”

Some comments about this article:

"Nestea: Irritating fact about "born agains" is their propensity to try to save everyone in sight and "witness" and all that. Farking annoying, I don't ask people for a few minutes so I can talk to them about Satan or anything like that.

Eh, I suppose. My problem with that is that too many of us keep a sort of running "salvation ticker", then compare stories about the people we've helped convert. I don't find that to be the right way of looking at it. Sitting down with a non-Christian isn't supposed to be a battle of wits, or leading someone by the nose to the conclusion that God exists. I find it to be more about showing the empathy, love, and understanding that we always seem to yak about, but aren't shown demonstrating very often."

I have never watched "The View" primarily because I don't watch much TV, nor the news.  The news these days has come to be a group of individuals bickering as loudly as possible with few sticking points, until they are finished, or there is a commercial break.  I don't care if Bill O'Reilly has the cure for cancer: he is a horrible person and treats people with such disrespect, I cannot believe he is promoting any justice.  I think it is disgraceful how immature the newscasters are allowed to act for ratings.  And furthermore, it pains my soul to watch 4 women represent womanhood on "The View" in such blaringly catty behavior.  I don't understand why they are able to get away with it...but that's just my perspective.  I'm hopeful that there are people in their audience who walk away with something substantial.

Henceforth, I had no idea who Sherri Shepherd was and I had to look her up.  I propose the question: is it within her Christian responsibility to convert Ms. Walters?

It is a difficult situation for Christians, because it does say in the scriptures that we are to share the good news.  Evangelicalism is a touchy subject, because sometimes it is very welcomed.  If a person has questions about faith, while mourning, they have stepped away from God and would like to go back to church...these are situations that are easy to talk about God and Jesus.  On the other hand, where is the line of "forcing my beliefs down your throat"? 

It is a difficult boundary to find, because if you are going through a personal breakthrough, and you have found a happiness and a joy in your life that lifted burdens of shame, guilt, remorse, unforgiveness, etc...most of the time, people are so ecstatic that they want to tell the world.  But sometimes (most times) the world just isn't at the same place of euphoria, and it comes off much differently than you intended.  Sometimes there are people who believe that if you are unsaved, you are going to Hell tomorrow and it is their very aggressive job to keep this event from taking place.  This situation is very touchy, because it could really go two ways: the person being sought may be a fragile person, and follow in fear.  They will attend church, they will follow the flock, but they don't fully understand what they claim to believe in, because their faith is based in fear.  If they leave church, they believe they will be shunned from their new community as being a moral outcast, and furthermore they are going to burn in Hell.  This is not a healthy situation, and it is not honoring God.  The other way this could go is the aggressive Christian will permanently turn the person they are seeking off from faith.  "If this is what Chirstianity is, forget it."  Another unhealthy, and unfortunate, situation, and definitely not honoring God.

I have an opinion on the matter (amazingly):  Not everyone will be saved.  Even during the 1000 years in Revelations when mankind lives in New Jerusalem, not everyone is saved (there will be people born in that time, and some will not believe).  And I firmly believe that to force Christians into the belief that everyone must be saved is irresponsible and unjust, because although it is within the boundaries of our responsibility as Christians to share God’s word, it is actually not our responsibility to bring them to God or save them.

It’s not our job.  

That is the job of the Holy Spirit.  We are to share, teach, instruct and continue learning and maturing...but we, ourselves, have never converted one person.

John MacArthur points this out wonderfully:
“When I was a young man preaching around the country, I received constant requests for messages on the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Christians talked about walking in the Spirit and what it was to be filled with the Spirit. The manifestation and use of spiritual gifts was a topic of great interest.

However that has changed. The Holy Spirit now seems to be the forgotten member of the Trinity. Therefore the priority of the Holy Spirit in the life of the church must again be asserted. Galatians 3 does just that.

A. The Passage

In verses 1-3 the apostle Paul says, "You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified? This is the only thing I want to find out from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"

B. The Problem

All Christians acknowledge that life in Christ begins by the work of the Spirit. It cannot be perfected or brought to maturity through the flesh. Yet many in the church today seem to believe that it can. In Galatians 3:1-3, Paul wants his readers to understand that sanctification comes by trusting in the power of the Holy Spirit by faith. He called the Galatians foolish for trusting in God for salvation, yet compromising the gospel of grace by relying on human effort for personal holiness and spiritual maturity.

Paul asks in verse 1 whether the Galatians have been "bewitched" (Gk., baskaino [baskaino], "to fascinate" or "charm someone in a misleading way"). They had been mislead by people who told them that sanctification was something they needed to accomplish on their own. The Galatians had by faith received and been empowered by the Holy Spirit, but were now willing victims of a flesh-pleasing brand of sanctification.

C. The Point

If a person receives eternal salvation and the fullness of the indwelling Holy Spirit through wholeheartedly trusting in the crucified Christ, why in the world would he trade in supernatural power for human effort? That's what Paul wanted to know in Galatians 3. You cannot achieve a spiritual goal by natural means. The Holy Spirit produces spiritual life initially and He also sustains it. The Holy Spirit is to the Christian what the Creator is to the creation.

Without God the world would never have come into existence. And without His sustaining it, the world would go out of existence. Similarly, without the Holy Spirit none of us would ever become saved. And without His constant sanctifying, sustaining, and preserving work, the spiritual life of the Christian would drop back into the spiritual deadness whence it came. Paul said, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6). Indeed, "we live by the Spirit" (Gal. 5:25).

In the evangelical church today so many are attempting to perfect in the flesh what was begun by the Spirit. Systematically and subtly, the Holy Spirit is being eliminated from the matter of sanctification. That poses a monumental threat to the church. Unless we are perfected by the Holy Spirit, all our efforts are in vain.”

So my question was: is it Ms. Shepherd's responsibility to convert Ms. Walters?  The answer is no.  She can share her faith with her peers, and she can promote the glory of God as much as she wants; but she will never convert Ms. Walters.  Hence, I disagree with her comment, " They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved."  She misunderstands that the power of faith does not reside in us, but in God. 

I have accomplished quite a bit today, and I'm taking a break.  My profile makes me out to be a very boring person.  I'm level headed, optimistic while still seeing the bad side of things, and I'm not nearly as silly as I used to be.  Gaah.  I'm going to go dress up like Peter Pan and rent a pizza.

Quiz: Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

Sunday July 20, 2008

From The Generous Husband series Things That Destroy Marriages ~

From Paul (husband) to the husbands:
     Not caring, not caring enough to do anything, not caring more than you care for your own wants, needs, goals and dreams - all these are a lack of compassion.  I see a disturbing lack of compassion in marriages, and it seems to be getting worse over time.  A total lack of compassion will kill a marriage very quickly, but even a minor lack of compassion will cause significant damage over time.  In fact, having compassion but not enough, or only having it some of the time, is destructive.
     Some folks are just lacking in compassion, but much of the time a lack of compassion is a side effect of some other issue.  When we are stressed, tired, worried, hurried or otherwise not at our best it is far more difficult to care, to show compassion.  If you don't show your bride the compassion you should, figure out the the reason, and then deal with that reason. 

My thoughts: 
     I think the last part about being stressed, tired, worried, etc. is a large part of the problem for most of us gals.  It's hard to care about others when you are tired and overworked.  Who cares whether the drawing is a dinosaur or a cow when there are three loads of laundry left to do, you desperately need a shower and the dog just threw up on the carpet.
     IMO, the solution starts with healthy self care, then moves through to some very hard thinking about priorities and ends in some very hard choices about time use.  We can not do it all.  We must simplify our lives so that we have the time and energy to care about those around us and do the things in life that are really the most important to us.
     The other night, my husband and I took a break to play a game with our son.  He's 17 and we'd all like to have some good memories of these years.  We took a break to have some fun during our busiest time of year (we're coming up on conference season for our day job), not to mention the ongoing construction of our living quarters.  It seemed like an expensive time move for us (we're all feeling the push, push of responsibility), but we all needed the break and we needed the family time.  We could have said we were too busy, but instead we said this is more important. 
     If you want to be compassionate and caring toward your husband (and others), you have to shape your life so that you have the personal/emotional energy and the time to do so.  It's likely to mean some very tough choices. 

     Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.  What we need is to love without getting tired.  Mother Teresa

Your pregnancy: 10 weeks

How your baby's growing:

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

It's been 9 years since this!  I was a mere 20 years old when Ben swooped upon me and convinced me to marry him.  I remember when he asked me, because he had the entire day planned out, and I just had no idea.  He took me to San Francisco, he took us to our favorite restaurant (Zare, on Haight).  I remember at one moment thinking he was really spoiling me, because he got me an $8 magazine (I still think that's a little much).  But when we got home, he turned left instead of right on the off ramp to our place, and I was just confused; but he said he wanted to go for a walk (he doesn't like going for walks...I drag him on walks).  And then he took me to the first place we ever kissed...and I, being completely oblivious to what was going on still, had to find a bathroom first.  I'm terribly romantic.  So out I come, and Ben is standing on the corner under the stars, and he begins to tell me how much he loves me, how much I mean to him, how wonderful life is when we're together...and suddenly my life flashes before my eyes.  Seriously, after this everything is in slow motion and he gets on one knee and asks me to marry him.  I was nearly in tears and could only say, "yes." 

And then we both sat down on the curb and held each other, because that was WAY more emotionally exciting than we anticipated.  And then we went home and I woke everyone up at 11pm and told them the great news.  My dad was the funniest, because HE ALREADY KNEW.  Ben and my brother, Neil, had already gone over how to break it to my dad that Ben wanted to marry me.  Ben was trying to figure out small talk and Neil was coaching him.  So he gets on the phone, and after a few pleasantries he says, "well, to cut to the chase..."  and Neil rolls his eyes and groans (I was told all this after the fact, of course).  But he said yes, so when I called him...he just seemed way too happy.  I didn't even get to tell him, I figured it out and I said, "Wait a minute, you already know!!"  My dad broke down and laughed and said, "Yes!!  He called me yesterday, and I had to tell SOMEONE, so I called Sheri in the LA office, because I figured she was far enough away that she wouldn't tell anyone up here!"  :)  It was a great day, and I am so thankful for the memories.

  On one hand it seems like we just got married, but on the other hand it feels like we've been married forever.  Either way, they have been the best 9 years of my life, and I am so grateful to have spent them with such a wonderful man as Ben.  He is an enormously devoted husband, a loving and faithful father, and he even let me pick out the linoleum for our bathroom.  That's love, my friends.  We have 2 children and one on the way, the dog, 2 cars, a home we can call our own, and a marriage that will last forever. 

I toast Ben Rockwood: the best husband in the world!

Chapter 1

I have been trying to write a book for years now; and I have many outlines ready, but I have a ton of ideas, and it is difficult to write one book when halfway through the first chapter, I am violently interrupted with another great idea.  Actually, right now I am learning how to knit while listening to Donald Miller’s audio book, “Blue Like Jazz,” and all I can think of is the narrative for another book of my own.  It’s annoying and frustrating, and I’m sure this is a gift from God in some way...but it sure is difficult to get anything accomplished.  My scarf is never going to get finished, but the little bit of fluffy purple yarn is very pretty; you’re going to have to trust me.

    Here is my situation:  I am a suburban housewife with a degree in Literature, two kids (maybe more in the future), buff cocker spaniel named Captain (his Christian name is Captain America), a husband, Ben, I met in German class in high school, we have a rented house, two cars and IKEA furniture.  It is so idyllic it is difficult to be counter-culture, which is what my soul yearns to do.  I am 29 and I like Big Band and Jazz, not because it is edgy, but because the songs they sing are out of touch with now.  The love they talk about is not the “Good Charlotte” love born on skateboards and grown in parents’ basements on tweed couches.  I am not really interested in music, which is something I don’t tell many people because it is such an odd characteristic.  It is almost as odd as the fact that I usually can’t smell anything (which the following question is normally, “can you taste okay?”  Yes, my sense of taste is fine).  But if I turn the radio on I feel like the people are talking at me.  They are implanting all of their ideas on love and life and politics in me, and I am uncomfortable with that because I don’t have the ability to tell them my ideas, and there is no communication and there is no relationship; and I turn the radio off because I don’t think it’s fair.  I think this entire idea of why I don’t like music is so strange and maybe even immature; but I also believe that I am not the only one who feels this way.  I have found that the weirdest concepts I harbor have some audience somewhere.  Jazz and Big Band are out of date and out of touch, and most of the time it is a song redone.  I feel comfortable with this, because it feels like they aren’t peddling their feelings at me, but singing because they need to sing.  Like there is some musical force inside them that needs an outlet, and I can appreciate this.  That is why I write poetry.

    I write poetry because there is some poetic force inside me that needs an outlet.  Without this outlet, I start talking in poetic terms, and no one can understand what on earth I am talking about.  My honest poetry is ambiguous and vague, and usually very nature-esque.  My favorite poets are Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson.  Frost was a man who wrote about what he saw, no matter how painful.  He wrote about the breakdown of his marriage after his son died; and that is painful to read.  Emily was a recluse, and I appreciate that.  If I could, I would move to a ranch in Montana and pay someone else to raise sheep, cows and horses for me.  I would be too busy writing and reading.  And I love that Emily wrote without grammar.  If you ever read her poetry and it uses commas, it is not her true writing.  I am reading a book of her poems right now, and it is completely grammatically correct, and it feels kind of wrong.  But I’m halfway through, and I figure I might as well finish it.  Both Frost and Emily wrote about what happened on their front lawn, what happened in their hearts, what they saw with their eyes.  That is what great poets do, and it is very hard to do.

(got this in email today...it used to be nicely formatted with color, but it comes out here just as black text.  The whole "billion" part was the most interesting to me)

 How many zeros in a billion?  This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.


 A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.  


While this thought is still fresh in our brain... let's take a look at New Orleans ...  It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.  

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250  BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans .  Interesting number... what does it mean?

A. Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of  New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528.

B. Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets  $1,329,787.

C. Or... if you are a family of four...  your family gets  $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C   < HELLO! > Are all your calculators broken??

 Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
 CDL License Tax
 Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
 Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
 Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
 Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
 Luxury Tax
 Marriage License Tax
 Medicare Tax
 Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
 Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
 Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax


 STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt... We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians! ' And I still have to press '1' for English.


I hope this goes around the USA